Friday, November 26, 2010

For the record they TSA still has this awesome sign:

I like to think of the title of this piece of art (seen here at the newark airport), as being titled:
" pictures of thing you could be doing that are more fun than waiting in line for an hour for security.
According to this handy diagram they include:
-playing with fireworks!
-being exposed to radioactive material and turning into the hulk!
-huffing paint thinner!
-huffing semi-gloss house paint
-actually painting your house ( in a semi-glossy way)
-Using one of those horseshoe magnets that no one who is not name Wiley Coyote has ever actually used!
-driving a Hyundai accent continuously for 60 months with this convenient "60 month battery" which is inexplicably labeled as such! Right here on the sign!
-killing weeds!
-filling your zippo with brand new fluid!
-possessing pastel colored girlie shooter drinks! (The vials on the left. Why else are they pink and yellow?)
-cleaning your tub and/or sink with bleach!
-cleaning your sink and or tube with "drain away" which is the only fake product in this pictogram that has a slogan. How much time and how much money did The Department of Transportation spend on this sign that the graphic designer had time to label both the voltage and usage on the battery and come up with a slogan for "Drain away"?

Maybe all this detail was actually in response to direct input from the Department of Transportation.
Maybe they rejected the first crack at this diagram because no one would understand what Drain Away was without the slogan "unclogs stubborn drains", or what type of gas burners were prohibited without the word "camp stove" written in huge goddamned letters on the side.

I've always wanted to carry a bunsen burner in with me and point out that the sign clearly allows it since it is meant for a lab and not a camp site.

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